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About Deviant Artist Live and let liveFemale/Finland Recent Activity
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Don't Forget
I’m not even as half as strong
as I wish to be.
I’m not even a quarter of how clever
I’d like to be.
I’m not, I’m not, I’m not
oh so many things.
But I’m a million times better
then I was at the start,
a hundred times better
than I was ten years ago
and a fraction better than I was yesterday.
The things that defines me,
are what I’ve been creating all my life.
It’s the result of the mistakes and flaws
I’ve collected on my road
and the hope and courage
I’ve created for myself.
I’m not even a fraction
of what I wish to be
but it’s alright, I know it is.
Because as long as there is a tomorrow,
there is still hope.
Don’t you ever forget that.
:iconshadowkaru15:shadowkaru15 0 0
Another piece of me
There’s a heartbeat
echoing in my ears again
and a soft knocking
on the door to my soul.
There’s a wisp in the wind
and a delicate sigh
forever etched on my lower lip
because you never came
to pick it up.
Don’t worry about it,
in the end it’s only lines
on broken, crumpled pages
tossed away on dusty roads
you forgot you even passed.
You and I,
we gave me a pulse to dance too,
but my wings are to light
to catch this movement
so I’m content with floating
in this fraction of a smile.
Next year
I will paint these walls green
but for today, I will settle
with these scraped knees.
But it’s the small things that makes me me.
:iconshadowkaru15:shadowkaru15 0 0
How dare you compare my baby to a Volvo (Destiel)
Original idea: Got in the wrong car AU
Summary:"Dude, how can you mistake my awesome sweet ride for some boring family-friendly Volvo??" Dean didn't know he was more offended about the fact the stranger was comparing his sweet ride to a Volvo or the fact that he didn’t see any difference between them. At least he was cute.
A/N: Only Cas, only Cas... also, all mistakes are mine and mine alone, feel free to correct me, I won't be mad (really, I know as much about cars as Cas). Done for my darling Sachi, happy birthday dear, hope you enjoy this Destiel fanfic. We do love AU’s right? Also, English is not my first language, so… um… yeah… enjoy?
Disclaimer: I do not own these characters…. Is anyone surprised?
Dean was humming along to one of his favorites of Led Zeppelin that was currently playing in his Impala, as he was heading home after another day at work. He knew that one day he would get bored at fixing up broken radiator and helping angry mid
:iconshadowkaru15:shadowkaru15 0 0
Hold your tongue for now
There's a roar in my throat
dawning like a dragon
on a hot summer afternoon.
It threatens to take over my oath
of never speaken out of turn,
of biting my tongue rather than let it loose.
I have an inkling
to let it do as it please
but my love is chains,
holding my forbidden spells of courage
and I will swallow this rupture for now
since that is what young girls like me
are allowed to do.
But this skin
won't hold for long
and these eyelashes won't hide my flame
for an eternity as black as the dawn
on mountains high and proud.
So this is your one and only fair warning
before I will take back
what is rightfully mine.
I am here
and soon I will be done feeling fear
and I assure you
when I am you will not be.
:iconshadowkaru15:shadowkaru15 0 0
Oh love, tie me loose
This song I sing,
it keeps me away from you
but it's the only one I know
and yet
I can't stand the tune.
Your words are a shield
I want to hide behind them
but that way I will never grow out
of this dress my mother made.
Don't play this game
I'm tired of the dealer,
I just can't get any break.
Let's board the last train
and be done with this town
once and for all.
Won't you escape this tune
with me?
I want to stop the ringing
inside my brain
before the cracks start to show.
:iconshadowkaru15:shadowkaru15 0 0
A sequel to a story yet unwritten
Words they gnawl in my stomach again
turning my courage into acid,
forcing me to smile
when everything is shaking.
My wings are turning to water
before my reflection,
twisting into shadows
washed up on the shore.
Bones are hollowing before my eyes,
calling me on
for crimes I have yet
to discover from my distraught past.

When does act two start?

Tell me the name of the song,
I know it by heart,
but my mouth refuse to co-operate
(it's acting up again).
Soon it will all be over,
but for now it has only just begun
and the countdown is ticking
louder and louDER in my head.


I promised you a  sequel,
the continuation of a story unwritten,
with a pen touched by too many hands
in far too many flashbacks.

Are you there?

I painted the roof
in silver and gold but I suppose
a cage will always be a prison
no matter what you do.
I'm still waiting.

I'm going to close my eyes now.
If the world is still turning when I wake up
I swear I will help you
:iconshadowkaru15:shadowkaru15 0 0
All in my head
We learned a lot together
when we were little, she and I.
For example, the movies taught us
there are lot of heroes out there
but the newspapers showed me
that villains don't play fair.
For every step I took
the world forced me a half one back.
She was the one to hold my hand
when I realized words are heavier than stones
and that ink can hurt more
than any broken bones.
She told me
it's all in my head.
I took the words
and clutched them tight
but I must have closed my eyes
because they dissappeared at night.
The sandglass froze right at
the twenty-first drop.
And when the water started to flood in
she just smiled and said
as I reached out my hand;
It's all in your head.

How do you wake up from reality?
:iconshadowkaru15:shadowkaru15 1 4
Pick It Up
It will be better tomorrow.

I write with words
that are turning empty again.
I walk street simply because I have to
not because I long to.
The demons are gnawling at the walls
in my stomach again
and I can't squeeze myself small enough
to make them stop.
I have a whole ocean in my lungs tonight
and it's making my head
loose connection with my heart (again).
I force my feet to walk
and my teeth to chew
but it all taste like paper,
but I know if I let go completely
I won't be able to come up for air
from this vast sea anymore.
Pick it up,
please pick it up.
I'll be strong tomorrow
I promise.
Just let me be a little girl for now.
I just need you to tell me it will be alright, even if it's not the truth.
:iconshadowkaru15:shadowkaru15 1 0
I could feel it too
I closed my eyes and took a deep breathe
and dove into the canvas I call myself.
I looked at the mountains,
I had barely been able to climb
(but did in the end)
I fed the birds
with crumbs made from my frustration
and sorrow and heard them sing.
I even boldy glanced briefly
into the boxes labeled
with dark red letters in the darkest corner,
but the shivers down my spine
stopped me from looking too long.
I also visited the lakes
made from the tears
I had shed in moments black and cold
and added some more,
(but just a few)
before I looked up
at the beautiful trees
that surrounded the lake,
not yet in full bloom.
It looked like there were waiting
for a spring  that hadn't arrived yet
but I could hear the branches rustling
and sighing in anticipation.
And I smiled and gently whispered back;
Because I could feel it too.
:iconshadowkaru15:shadowkaru15 2 6
Another way of saying I do
I want to protect you
I want to shelter you
to scream so loud
no one can ignore your pain.
But my lungs are leaking,
my throat is sore
and my tongue
is rotten to the core.
And just like the boy
who cried wolf,
I too, feel the weight
of grey lies
prickling my skin
and when I finally
try to paint in white
the red is dripping
down on my canvas
and you turn away
and I hide in shame.
I want to love, to hold you close
but my arms are heavy,
my hands are tightly clutched
while my heart is stalling,
fighting against my own reaper.
So I sang a song
threw in pretty words,
words about love and eternal faith
but the guitar chords
strung empty and false
and notes fell to the ground
and your eyes were so clouded
that you couldn't see where they felt.
And my hands were already bound
by the bargain I lost to the demon
on my left shoulder
so on the ground they faded.
But if you can see my soul
then you know
the gospel I would sing
to save your soul, to save your heart.
The mouth I would use
to kiss you
:iconshadowkaru15:shadowkaru15 0 7
Riska by shadowkaru15 Riska :iconshadowkaru15:shadowkaru15 4 7 S and S Advent Calendar 1.12.2013 by shadowkaru15 S and S Advent Calendar 1.12.2013 :iconshadowkaru15:shadowkaru15 2 0
Happy birthday Kitana
My dear Kitana,

I have a tendency
to flinch when someone mention
how old I am.
Then I scold myself,
because the passing days
are the ones that have allowed me
to get enchanted
by the magic your fingers produces.
You showed me
that words can be more
than just black lines on white sheets.
You showed me,
that obstacles are only misfortune
if you let them be.

Thank you

You have the kindest of hearts
and the sweetest of smiles.
I know I haven’t seen it live,
but I can see it between
your hellos and goodbyes.

I love you dearly

You say I have stars on my sleeves,
well you’re the one
that  put them there
and for that
you will always have a place in my heart.
Here’s to five more years.
:iconshadowkaru15:shadowkaru15 2 2
Happy birthday Kitana by shadowkaru15 Happy birthday Kitana :iconshadowkaru15:shadowkaru15 2 2
Girl made of rain
Pour your heart out
little girl made of rain.
You fought so hard,
so long,
so brave.
In the end
it wasn’t enough.
The goal you had
was not the right one
and you stumbled
on the goal line,
because when you
got there,
thorns on your feet
and ice in your heart,
you realized
you were chasing
the wrong dream.
Break down,
if only for a second,
lay down your armor,
I promise I won’t tell a soul.
Your sand castles
has been washed away
with the change of tides
and now you have to start over again.
Create a new dream,
something new to chase after,
but this time,
this time, my dear,
you won’t have to do it alone.
:iconshadowkaru15:shadowkaru15 0 0
For what do we fight
The bell rings
reminding me of sadness
I thought I had forgotten,
oh my heart
will you once again
prepare yourself for war
and lead the way
in a battlefield
where your predecessors are laying
on the ground
broken, wounded all around us?
The rulebook is found again,
picked up and dusted off,
to hear the cries
of lonely souls once again,
for that we fight.
For glory?
For hope?

For tomorrow?
For love, for dreams, for unborn generation, for freedom, for us.

For a story, as tragic as a Shakespeare drama, we fight, with words, we barely know the meaning off.
For something more than this.
:iconshadowkaru15:shadowkaru15 1 5


Smauglock by Voidance-kun Smauglock :iconvoidance-kun:Voidance-kun 1,203 138 Pacific Rim - Thor crossover: Goldilocks by tarkheki Pacific Rim - Thor crossover: Goldilocks :icontarkheki:tarkheki 236 69 Hetavision Poland: We Are Slavic by VictoriaWings Hetavision Poland: We Are Slavic :iconvictoriawings:VictoriaWings 85 20 Let's play game by Lhax Let's play game :iconlhax:Lhax 38 3 Commission - The Boy Who Murdered Love by Robbuz Commission - The Boy Who Murdered Love :iconrobbuz:Robbuz 146 15 Little Loki In Slumerberland by frogsfortea Little Loki In Slumerberland :iconfrogsfortea:frogsfortea 295 119 The Avengers School by Jessica-Rae-3 The Avengers School :iconjessica-rae-3:Jessica-Rae-3 222 389 Hetavision: Denmark 2013! by Gardevoir1997 Hetavision: Denmark 2013! :icongardevoir1997:Gardevoir1997 153 49 That HAIR by Ishtarduzell That HAIR :iconishtarduzell:Ishtarduzell 7 2 Thorin X Bilbo (3) by fox-trail Thorin X Bilbo (3) :iconfox-trail:fox-trail 2,355 103 [ThorinXBilbo] Are you feeling alright? by fox-trail [ThorinXBilbo] Are you feeling alright? :iconfox-trail:fox-trail 1,403 62 God of Mischief by StudioKawaii God of Mischief :iconstudiokawaii:StudioKawaii 886 71 The Thaw by Icedrop21 The Thaw :iconicedrop21:Icedrop21 1 2 Child-like belief by iesnoth Child-like belief :iconiesnoth:iesnoth 649 150


Hello awesoem people!

I don't know how many of my dA friends are still active here on deviantArt, but I felt I should update a bit^^

I have to admit that I spend more time on tumblr nowadays, so if anyone wants to follow me there, send me a note and I'll give you my tumblr name^^

My year in university has been very hectic, with lots of courses, tests and activites. I joined a choir and we held a winter concert and even went to Dublin on a choir trip, which was very nice and we sang on a lot of different places =)

I met a lot of new people and got new friends and learned more about myself. As the saying goes, you get to know yourself through others and that's exactly what I have learned this year.

So tell me, fellow fangirls, how has 2013 treated you? ^^  Found any new series you love?

  • Listening to: Emilie Autumn- Dead Is The New Alive
  • Reading: Hajime No Aku
  • Watching: Hannibal
  • Playing: where did I put my phone again
  • Eating: pizza
  • Drinking: Kalle Sprätt



Add a Comment:
VictoriaWings Featured By Owner May 19, 2014
Thank you for the favorite~
Miiyako Featured By Owner May 16, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Happy birthday!!:D
shadowkaru15 Featured By Owner May 16, 2013
aww, thank you!
Icedrop21 Featured By Owner May 16, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Happy birthdaaaaaay!!! :cake:
You make me feel so ashamed, I don't have a present again. It's so difficult to make appropriate presents with photography :hmm: So instead I'll just drop a bucket of love here and wish you the very best and most fun today! (and the rest of the year as well) :love:
shadowkaru15 Featured By Owner May 16, 2013
Aww, thank you :glomp:
It's all fine and dandy, I'm just happy that people remember that it is my birthday today *squeeze you tight*
Thank you so much!
Icedrop21 Featured By Owner May 16, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Of course I do!
(Ok, so I had to put it on my calender to remember. Sue me =P)
shadowkaru15 Featured By Owner May 16, 2013
:hug: we're going to catch up this summer!
(that's perfectly fine, that's it's function after all ;) )
(1 Reply)
Ishtarduzell Featured By Owner May 16, 2013
Happy Birthday darling! :D
shadowkaru15 Featured By Owner May 16, 2013
Thank you sweetie :glomp:
ellymango Featured By Owner Dec 22, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks for the watch! ;w;
Add a Comment: